Stitches

Well, today is supposed to be about being a wife, but I find my experience from yesterday a little more interesting about which to write. J received his first stitch yesterday... a milestone for both mom and son. I'm not immune to childish bumps and bruises, but they aren't that common, yet. Just wait, I'm sure they will be with two sons and an active daughter! The only trauma we've dealt with have both involved sweet girl K. At 9 months, she fell down a wooden flight of stairs and broke her collar bone and at 13 months, she fell off of a kids' chair and knocked out one of her then-6 teeth. She has a tooth missing next to her right front tooth to this day. She'll eventually have her adult tooth which will actually look kind of funny! We're so used to her having a space there! So, you see, we've had a few incidents along the way.

But the stitch was a first for us... J was playing outside with friends before the lunch hour. He was climbing up the slide (something he's always told not to do!) and pulling on a rope that was attached at the top tree house portion of the swing set. I didn't see it happens, but he fell off the slide onto the mulch-ground and put a 1/2 inch gash in the back of his head. His friend came to tell me that J was hurt, and I looked out to see J crying and his hands covered in blood. I calmly went outside and saw more blood on his head and neck and ushered him inside. After wiping the blood away, I found the wound and began to assess the situation. A quick call to the doctor, an appointment a couple hours later, one stitch in his head, and a little bit of tears and J is doing fine this morning.

I was surprised how I handled the situation. I didn't fall apart and freak out when I saw the blood; my insides did begin to flutter a bit, but I prayed for the Lord's strength and wisdom and kept telling myself to stay calm so J would calm down. And he did. When K fell down the flight of stairs, I flipped out so I guess I've grown in 2 years... that's a good thing!

I'm not one to deal with blood or "nurse-type" things very well. I don't faint, but I prefer not to see the gross stuff of life. I'm dreading the teeth-pulling stage. Daddy may have to take over nurse duty during that time!!! But you know what? I might be okay because each time the Lord allows something that I think I can't handle come my way, I seem to do okay with it. It's only by His grace. He will only give me enough of what I can handle with His strength. I don't wish for bad things to happen to my kids/family, but when they do, I'm finding that, in the moment, I'm dealing with the necessities of the moment. Isn't that the case with God? He doesn't ask me to live in fear of the what ifs... He only asks me to be obedient in the moment... a lesson learned AGAIN yesterday.

Blessings!

Self-esteem and reality

I ready to muse today; are you ready to read? The days seem to fly by so quickly at times, and I have missed rambling on about "life" with you.

In the book, Life Skills for Kids by Christine M. Field, the author strongly encourages parents to evaluate what their children are learning. Kids may be strong academically, athletically, even "spiritually," but are they learning what they need to learn to succeed as productive members of society on a day-to-day basis? This book is packed full of wonderful ideas to implement chores/responsibilities in about every area of life that there is. It's practical, and she also weaves in Biblical reasoning for what she's proposing. This is going to be a "highlighter" book and one that I will flip back to very often.

I'm on in the second chapter, and I've already read something that has prompted my musing for this Monday. I'm sure there'll be more to come. Here's the quote, "Parents who make the choice to sacrifice a child's well-being at the altar of self-esteem may discover not only that they have given up too much, but also that the gain is not worthwhile." And to follow it up, "The collision of reality and the cocoon of self-esteem woven in childhood can be harsh and devastating." The mere mention of the hyped-up word of "self-esteem" makes my blood boil. Why why why, as a Christian parent, would I want to esteem myself above God? Why would I want to encourage that kind of thinking in my children? Several times in the Bible Jesus talks about thinking of others, loving others, esteeming others. Just one reference for you, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Romans 12:3.

Before you think that Christians should be doormats and not think of themselves at all, let me clarify. I am not to have high self-esteem but high self-respect for the person God has created me to be. I esteem Him for making me (that's a whole nother topic for a post!) So, as I read the book yesterday, I found myself saying "amen and amen" over and over. I admit that it is hard, at times, to keep reality nearby when I want to lavish praise on my kids. And I think praising them for things is necessary, but I need to keep myself in check so as not to give them a false sense of reality. As they get older and meet more of the world, they're going to learn how unkind it is... and its people are! I need to allow for a healthy dose of reality in our home with things that have minor implications compared to major consequences when they grow up.

Children who grow up thinking that the world revolved around them tend to be arrogant, bitter, angry, emotionally charged. Children who grow up knowing that they were created in God's image to do His will and to do it well tend to be more humble, joyful, friendly, respectful. In thinking of the long-term picture, I desire to use brush strokes now that will produce a beautiful reflection of Christ's character. In myself, I need to guard my heart from pride and haughtiness and model humility and respect to my kids.

I'm excited to continue reading this book because the author clearly gets it... it's not at all about us. It's about God and about pointing our kids to Him who made all things beautiful in His time. Come along for the pruning!

Blessings!

The waiting begins

It's a gorgeous day here in the KC area. The sun is shining, and despite an early morning, I'm in a pretty good mood. My original goal for Tuesday's blog was for it to be about our homeschooling adventure, and today's events play nicely into my blog. Way to go God!

After waking up at normal time this morning (5:30), I quickly showered and got myself ready to sit in my van for a few hours. Let me explain... there is a one-day enrichment program/school we'd like to send J to in the fall for kindergarten. It's an excellent program and would give J a "school setting" one time a week while supplementing a little bit with the curriculum that we have for him next year. The problem is that the class is already full! HCA, the school, opens their enrollment up to current families first and then to any newcomers on a first come first serve basis. I decided to be first on the waiting list.

I arrived at the church parking lot at 6:30 this morning and indeed was first in line for Kindergarten. A good friend of mine was #2 for Kindergarten. We waited, together, for 3 hours until the registration opened. I didn't know if it'd be worth it, but we're trusting God with the outcome.

Well, far earlier than we anticipated, I received a call THIS afternoon to say that a spot had already opened up! Praise the Lord! All of that waiting really paid off, and J will be able to attend in the fall. We're just so excited to be homeschooling him and to have the ability for him to be encouraged in his schooling by being with other like-minded kids/families. It's truly a blessing. So, he'll attend HCA once a week, on Tuesdays, come the fall. He'll be able to do gym, a reader's theatre, some "science" and other things that I might not be able to cover at home.

Now I only hope that my friend who was waiting with me can get her daughter in, too. J is a little "sweet" on this little girl, and they get along very well together. We'll see what God has in store, but the waiting was worth it. Isn't that the case with most things? I know heaven will be worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings!

Is it a bird, a plane... nope!

Happy Spring! Well, if you're in the middle of the USA, though, you might think winter has "restarted!" There are about 7 inches of snow sitting outside right now... and Spring officially started yesterday. Ah well... life is unpredictable so live it, right?!?!

Yesterday, we celebrated J's 5th birthday with family and a close family friend "family." His birthday is actually on Wednesday, but we took advantage of the weekend to celebrate with the larger crowd. It was a fun couple of hours, complete with J's choice of a Batman cake. I had a good time making and decorating the cake, and his choice for a cake this year has caused me to think a little deeper on many levels.

J has never seen Batman or any of the cartoon characters one would normally associate with Batman... Robin, Spiderman, Superman, Iron Man, etc. We carefully guard his TV and movie viewing, and it has only been in the last few months that he has actually seen a movie in its entirety - I think Cars was his first one. However, the boy loves to dress up as a knight or a warrior or in his superhero get-up. He believes in these characters even though he has never seen them with his own eyes... hmmm, isn't that the kind of faith that God calls us to have? We're to believe in Him even though we can't see him with our own eyes. We see the evidences of Him all around us as J sees the stuff that makes up Batman all around him. Childlike faith... makes me think, a lot!

The other deep thought I had for today was this whole notion of restricting what my child watches. I used to be a little defensive at how little the kids watch of movies, etc. People just saw me as "uptight" or controlling or a killjoy. I suppose I am in some areas, but I'm drawn to Scripture that says, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2) What am I allowing in the house that will transform the minds of my children? I am responsible before God for how I disciple my kids; my ultimate priority is to win these kids to Christ... NOTHING else matters. I can't save them, only the Lord can, but I can certainly protect their little minds and hearts by what goes in and out.

I don't want my kids to grow up in a bubble, but I do want them to see life through a Biblical filter. They don't have the ability to filter on their own right now, and they won't have it for some time. I am their filter. Sure, Batman, Robin, Spiderman... they're not terrible. They fight for good, not evil. But overall, I am to guard the hearts of my children and present them plenty of opportunities to learn Truth versus "a truth." I want them to be defenders of the faith and be strong witnesses for Christ, but they can only do that when they are firmly established in their own faith which will be when they're adults.

So, if you want to call me a stick-in-the-mud, a fuddy-duddy, "high and mighty," or anything else like that, I can take it. I'm not trying to be a pharisee or overtly righteous in regards to what my kids can and cannot do; I'm following God's commands to "teach them [God's commandments] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." (Deuteronomy 6:7). There will be a day when they will choose, for themselves, what they will allow to shape their minds; for now, I enjoy the make believe world they make up without them knowing the expectations placed on their superheros... they play with childlike faith, knowing that the Ultimate Superhero will never let them down. Praise the Lord!

Blessings!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Are you wearing green right now? If not, I wish I could reach across the computer screen and give you a pinch! Actually, I wouldn't do it, but it's the thought, right? There isn't a drop of Irish blood that runs through these veins... I'm mostly Dutch with some German and Scottish mixed in. Ben's side of the family is mostly English with German sprinkled throughout. But it's fun to enjoy the festivities of a pretty non-sensical day; although, I did share with the kids the story of St. Patrick and how he helped to bring the Gospel to Ireland. It went well with the verse we're memorizing for the week, Mark 16:15 "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." I love it when God brings together "randomness" and makes "coincidence." Very cool!

So, what's in your oven right now? What a funny subject for "wifely Wednesday" you may think. Not so! I have a traditional Irish stew slow-roasting. The scent of thyme and parsley wafts through the air. Meat, potatoes, herbs, spices... yum. You see, I make a menu every week of what we're going to eat as a family for dinner. It's often a labor of love to take such precious minutes and fill them with new recipes and old favorites. Sometimes I just want to chuck the whole thing and make the same thing every Monday, Tuesday, etc. But I don't. Ben would probably be fine with it, but I like to stretch myself in the kitchen and make many new recipes, and I've made plenty in the past almost 9 years of marriage.

Why do I push myself? Yes, I enjoy cooking and I want to expose the kids to a wide variety of food (I'm not a short-order cook and the kids eat what is served to them... nothing special made for them for dinner). But beyond those two criteria, I enjoy pleasing my husband by offering him one of my talents, that of cook. Thankfully, he is not a picky eater and will eat anything I put in front of him. I can probably count the number of times on one hand (okay, maybe two) that I've made something of which he'll only take one bite; he's great about trying new things.

God has given me the ability to not only cook well but to enjoy it and share it with others. As a wife, I have a responsibility to feed my family a healthy diet of foods that will sustain them and that they will enjoy. When we have leftovers or sandwiches for supper, I often feel as though I've failed that evening in the area of cook, but through it all, I press on to honor the Lord by cooking meals that will please my love. Sadly, one of Ben's favorite foods, any and all fish, is not high on my priority list. I make attempts at mild white fish, tuna, and shrimp, but the financial cost of a possible disaster deters me from getting too crazy with seafood!

So I'll keep on making the weekly menu, doing the weekly grocery shopping, and cooking the nightly meal. I do so to please my husband and along the way, I've had some amazing dishes that I might not have otherwise tried. Thank you, Ben, for allowing me to cook for you and honor you with one of my joys!

Blessings!

Weekends are for...

Happy Saturday morning! It's a bleak day here in Kansas, but I'm enjoying the stillness of the house in these early morning minutes. I'm not a sleeper... sure, I fall asleep with much ease, purely out of exhaustion of having discipled my three blessings throughout the day. But when my body is awakened before its time, I'm in for a long morning of tossing and turning if I choose to lie in bed instead of hop out and prepare for the day. Such is the case this morning. Even on a Saturday, I woke up at 4:50 am and tried desperately to sleep longer. After an hour of off and on idleness, I decided to get up and make the most of a quiet morning.

So, what are weekends for? Around here, we run errands, do house projects, bake bread, play with the kids, run a load or two of laundry, dine with friends, and participate in corporate worship at our church. Sometimes I get these ideas that weekends are supposed to be completely different from the weekdays, but as I'm getting older (and perhaps wiser?!?!), I see that Saturdays are an extension of my "work" week at home, only Ben is here with me (most of the time) to round out the family. It's a joy for me to have him home on the weekends, and sometimes, I'll expect more of the time that we're together than just simply enjoying the fact that our family is complete.

It's a hard image to put into words, but I fall prey to thoughts of doing grand things on the weekend or stuffing it so full of "to dos" that my attitude sours and family unity quickly dissolves. The Lord is teaching me that Saturdays are a day for me to get things done, but they're more importantly about our family being together all day, doing life in a way that honors Him. There He goes again... pushing my agenda aside and nudging me in His direction. It's hard, at times, to simply enjoy the day, whatever may come.

Sundays are uniquely precious as we worship our amazing God with our church family and slow down a bit from the tasks to focus on the Person. Although we're at church all morning and return for evening activities, there's no place I'd rather be on Sunday than with my family, lifting praises and learning more about the character of God. He's given me the weekend... the privilege of being home and of coming home to Him. Hallelujah!

Have a blessed weekend!

The Shakes!

Happy mid-week! You'll have to excuse my short post today. With much reservation, I jumped into working out again. I just completed Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred DVD, level 1. When we were first married, I ran daily and loved it! I was in great shape... well, almost 9 years of marriage and 3 kids later, and I am finally starting to get back on the exercise bandwagon. I've been exercising most of the past several years, but during this last pregnancy and after Daniel's birth, I've been sporadic at best in terms of doing anything! I've finally had enough so I restarted Jillian's Shred. If you don't have those workouts and want something effective and non-time-consuming, get that DVD. Amazing, even though my arms feel like jello and I can barely type! HA!

Ben and I have started reading a new book for our "beccafest." It's entitled, Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. We've wanted to read through this book for a while so I'm glad that we're finally getting around to it! Good start to the day with this reading... very easy to read and personable.

The only thought I'd like to share today (before my arms scream) is that it is my responsibility, as a wife, to show unconditional respect to Ben. That's it. End of story. In response to that respect, he pours forth the love that I so desperately need. It sounds so easy and yet SO difficult at times. I'm excited to read about the how-tos and the Biblical perspective since he takes the passage from Ephesians 5:33 to make his whole point!

I do respect Ben for all that he does for this family and for the man that he is, but my actions AND my words oftentimes do not reflect those thoughts. This is going to be a fun ride... I'll keep you in the loop as we read through this book and I become, Lord-willing, a more respectful wife!

Blessings!

Questions and Commands

"Questions cause children to think. Commands cause children to resist." Choose thinking kids over resistant kids! Well that's a "duh" statement, but boy, have I really been challenged to evaulate my parenting style! The weekend flew by, and I didn't have a chance to blog; yesterday ended in a rush so it's Tuesday, and I'm going to write about my musings and my tutoring all rolled into one!

So, as many of you can probably guess, I tend to be a "strict" parent. Do what I say without question or there'll be a consequence. They can question me later when I teach them how to question in a "good way." But, really, is that the way it's supposed to be? I do truly believe that parents should expect first-time obedience from their kids; they're not our slaves or lackies, but they are under our God-given authority. I heard someone say once that it's important for our kids to obey the parents they see becuase if they can't do that, they'll never obey the God that they cannot see. True!

To encourage my point, I turn to my parenting expert John Rosemond. Love his writings! They make such sense. If you've never heard of him, Google his name and read up. He is inspiring and makes parenting sound "easy." It's not that it is (as he'll readily admit), but our society has really fallen off the deep end with the psychobabble that's out there in terms of how to raise kids. He cuts through it all and just tells us to raise kids like grandma would have - or maybe great grandma!

I enthusiastically follow his leadings because he ties them into Biblical principles, too. But where I struggle is with the whole empathy thing. I get so caught up in my children's misbehavior that I flip out! He tells us to remain calm and let the actions speak for themselves. But how!?!? I'm a mess of hormones! Well, a good friend of mine referred me to a book entitled Love and Logic. Wow! It dovetails so nicely with Rosemond and perhaps gives a softer edge to disciplining kids. While I don't agree with every single thing in the book, it has helped me to see that I need to show more empathy in my discipline. And do you know what, it works!

Instead of telling J or K to brush teeth, I now say, "Would you like to brush teeth before you get dressed or after you get dressed?" It's still accomplishing the task of brushing teeth, but the tone of voice is so different and the smile on the kids' faces in choosing is wonderful. I cannot possibly summarize the whole book in one blog posting, but the quote I started with at the top of the blog is the gist of the book. So, even this hard-nosed mom can still be taught something new!

Blessings!

BBQ Beef Brisket in a Crock

Foodie Friday here I come... I've been excited to share this recipe with you since Tuesday (when we ate the brisket)! We don't do a lot of red meat in our house, mainly for the cost, but I broke down and bought a nice 3 pound beef brisket the other day. We had invited our mentoring couple over for dinner so I wanted to do something easy yet yummy in the crock pot. It was a new recipe to me, but I always like to try out recipes on other people!

BBQ Beef Brisket
2 cups BBQ sauce (whatever kind you like)
3 beef bouillon cubes
3-4 pound beef brisket
1-2 onions, cut into wedges
3 bay leaves
rolls, split and toasted

1. Put 1 cup of BBQ sauce in the bottom of the crock pot. Add the 3 bouillon cubes and the onion wedges. Stir a little bit - not necessary to break up the cubes.
2. Place the brisket on top of the sauce.
3. Put the 3 bay leaves on top of the brisket.
4. Cook on low for 6-7 hours. Remove the fat "layer" of the brisket and then shred the meat with two forks in the crock pot.
5. Add 1 cup of BBQ sauce and stir to combine. Heat on high until heated through.
6. Serve on toasted buns. I also had slices of smoked gouda cheese on the rolls which added to the flavor.

Next time I'll probably add a little cumin as I love the smokey flavor. This came from the Fix-It-and-Forget-It cookbook. It's awesome and was devoured by the kids (even D at 15 months!) and our guests. Yum-O!

Enjoy!

Showers and microwaves

It's late on a Thursday evening, but it's still Thursday so I wanted to write about two transformational "things" in our home for the week! Drum roll, please... Ben finally finished installing our new shower surround in the master bathroom!!!! [applause here] We've been showering in the kids' bathroom for over 2 months and although the jaunt down the hall isn't awful, it's nice to be back in our own room when the alarm rings at 5:25 in the morning. The kids seem to be sleeping better, too, because they don't hear the shower!!! I had forgotten what it's like to take a shower without mold and odd smells contaminating the "clean feeling!" It's great! And so far, we haven't seen any water spots in the ceiling in the kitchen... the shower is directly above an area in the kitchen. Let's keep hoping and praying that we don't! He did an amazing job so I'm confident that we're good to go.

And we've gone almost an entire week without a microwave - yes, gasp, it's possible! Our 2 1/2 year old microwave just up and went kaput on Sunday morning as my oatmeal was nearing the end of its boil. The timer kept going, but the oatmeal stopped and left me with an almost cooked bowl of yummy goodness. We think it was a circuit, but due to Sharp's maintenance and money kahoots, we can't open the back of it to check. So this fairly new microwave is now a really good paperweight in Ben's shop. Instead of rushing out to buy a new one, we decided to see if we could go for a while without one. And to tell you the truth, I haven't really missed it! Yes, I had to reheat leftovers for lunch on the stove, and I did borrow our neighbor's microwave to thaw some frozen bananas for banana bread. But all in all, it's been a good week.

We'll probably end up getting one soon, but it's been a fun week of trying to remember how to live without such a convenience in our modern world. It's stretched my brain in determining how to time meals differently and not have food ready right at my fingertips. Mostly, it's allowed me to see that we really didn't rely heavily on the microwave when it was working! And I've been extremely calm through its absence... growth! If this had happened to me maybe even a few months ago, I probably would have flipped out and purchased one that afternoon. I seem to be calmer and showing signs of going with the flow. Must be God working on that whole "peace" thing that seems to allude many of us.

Nothing profound today, but I've enjoyed letting you see into my week for a brief moment!

Blessings!

Priorities as a wife

I'm tired... yes, I admit it today! But I can't help to be encouraged by the sunshine streaming in the windows this morning. It's nice to see blue skies and the hope of spring!!!!

Last night, Ben and I met with a younger couple that we're mentoring. They've been married for 2 1/2 years and are expecting their first child in May. It's exciting to be used by God in this way. The topic of discussion last night was mainly about priorities... how we align our priorities as individuals within the marriage covenant. That's a hard line to decide in this day and age of "blur."

The author of the marriage book (Better Love Now by Tommy Nelson) lists eight possible areas of priorities to put in your marriage. The first one listed was "individual quiet time with God." I asked the couple which priority (of the list of 8) they thought was the most important. I immediately followed up the question with a flippant statement that said, "The Sunday school answer is 'quiet time with God.'" Well, that was foolish of me. Both of them said that they wanted to say that answer because it was an area that they were working on in their marriage.

Now that I think about it more, I should have been more sensitive to their needs. It might have been the Sunday school answer, but it's also the most powerful priority that we need to place in a Christian marriage. Once that is in place, the other priorities fall into place. I've struggled, over the years, to have a consistent time of the day where I have Bible study. Distractions abound!!! I usually "fit" it in some time during the day, but I missed that regular appointment; now that the kids are getting older, I am able to reset my schedule to place the Lord at the beginning of my morning. It works for me because I'm a morning person. And I realize that the time spent with the Lord is precious and strengthening to my marriage because He brings to light many areas that need work in my own life in order to maximize our marriage all for His glory!

Next time, I'll think more about speaking out about the "Sunday school" answer because getting back to the basics is sometimes the hardest thing to do!

Blessings!

Passion

I simply cannot believe that I have been so negligent in my blogging of late. Life has been a little busy, but more than that, I feel that God is trying to unshuffle a lot of stuff in my heart. It's all good, but my thoughts get jumbled and I feel paralyzed when writing about it. Today's post will combine my "Monday Musings" with "Tutorial Tuesdays" because it's a lesson that I'm learning on a continual basis.

I'm doing a Tuesday morning Bible study at our church right now. Beth Moore fans will know the power of her "Breaking Free" study and that is the one that I'm doing. I've gone through 4 or 5 of her studies and always feel challenged, convicted, blessed, energized, and so many more emotions after listening to her speak and participating in the Bible lessons. I've never done her Breaking Free study so it's especially great as I go through her updated version of it.

This week's quote that really had me thinking was the following: "Between every unfaithful generation and faithful generation is one person determined to change... Maybe you would like to be a link that takes your family line from an unfulfilling life of religion to a passionate life of relationship with Christ." For me, this was a big statement.

Having grown up in a Christian home, I have not been exposed to some of the horrible things that can happen in generations of sinful behavior. I'm not immune to heartache, though, and have been privy to things that have been passed down to me that aren't particularly bad or good - just in the middle. But that apathy has caused me to think a lot about the vibrancy of my faith. Now, more than ever, there is a call for Christians to stand up and speak the loving Gospel with more clarity and conviction than ever before. Our culture is in darkness and bondage, and I want to pass down to my kids and grandkids a PASSION to live out their faith with a life of intimacy with Christ.

In our homeschool classroom, there is no greater lesson that I can teach than to love Christ and love others with a genuine faith that will stand the tests that will come. It's not about rules or regulations or even how often we attend church; it's about the relationship with Jesus that will cause others to see Christ in us. I know all of this information, but the way it was presented to me this week in the Bible study impacted the "freshness" of the message.

Perhaps you will be encouraged by this post to be the link in your own generation that will pass on to your kids and grandkids a passion-filled life of loving Jesus. I pray that it is so!

Blessings!